swissfini/content/terms.md

title, description

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Terms of Service	The legal bits (satirically presented)

Terms of Service

Last updated: December 2025

Agreement to Terms

By accessing SwissFini.sh, you agree to these terms. If you don't agree, you can close this tab—a feature that Swiss e-voting users in 2019 probably wished their voting system had.

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Intellectual Property

All original content on this site is provided under principles of fair commentary and satire. We cite our sources, link to archives, and try harder than most Swiss IT projects to document our work.

The facts we report are sourced from:

• Major Swiss news outlets (NZZ, Tages-Anzeiger, SRF)
• Official government documents
• Court records
• Academic analyses
• Archive.org (because sources sometimes disappear)

The satirical commentary is our own. If you can't distinguish between factual reporting and satire, we recommend a career in Swiss government IT oversight—they seem to have the same problem with distinguishing between project plans and reality.

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Disclaimer of Warranties

This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind.

We do not warrant that:

• The site will be available 24/7 (but we aim higher than Swisscom's 2024 emergency services uptime)
• All information is current (projects may have failed further since publication)
• Our satirical takes will age well (they might become too generous as more details emerge)
• Reading this site will not cause existential despair about the state of institutional IT

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Limitation of Liability

In no event shall SwissFini.sh be liable for:

1. Direct damages arising from our content, including but not limited to:

   • Coffee spat on keyboard while reading about INSIEME
   • Career reconsideration after learning about Juris X
   • Sudden urge to audit your organisation's IT procurement

2. Indirect damages including:

   • Loss of faith in Swiss technological superiority
   • Inability to unsee the CHF 116 million write-off figure
   • Compulsive checking of project milestone dates

3. Consequential damages such as:

   • Becoming "that person" at parties who won't stop talking about government IT failures
   • Developing an unhealthy interest in the Peter Principle
   • Starting your own satirical website about institutional dysfunction

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Accuracy and Corrections

We strive for accuracy. All factual claims are sourced. If we've made an error:

1. We'll correct it promptly
2. We'll note the correction transparently
3. We won't spend 16 years and CHF 36.5 million failing to fix it

To report an error, find us however you can. We're a static site, not a helpdesk.

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Satire Notice

This is a satirical publication. The humour is intentional. The IT failures are unfortunately real.

We mock:

• Institutional dysfunction, not individuals (unless they're public figures making public decisions with public money)
• Process failures, not the workers stuck implementing them
• The gap between Swiss tech rhetoric and Swiss tech reality

We don't mock:

• Sincere attempts to improve government IT
• Whistleblowers
• The journalists who actually uncover these stories

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Governing Law

These terms are governed by the principle that satire is protected speech, common sense should prevail, and anyone who reads a satirical website's terms of service this carefully probably has opinions about software licensing we'd love to hear.

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Severability

If any provision of these terms is found to be unenforceable, the remaining provisions continue in effect. Unlike Swiss government IT projects, we don't abandon everything when one part fails.

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Contact

For legal inquiries, please first consider whether:

1. We have any assets worth pursuing
2. You really want to be the person who sued a satire site
3. The Streisand Effect exists

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These terms are provided with the same binding authority as a Swiss federal IT project's original scope document—which is to say, subject to revision, extension, abandonment, or complete reimagining at any time.